Is this the last time?

Last night was like any normal night at the Tinsley house.  Yesterday was full of homework, snacks, football and soccer games, trophy night, quick dinner of fast food, showers, bedtime tucks, and sleep.  At least once a week Jensen wakes up in the middle of the night.  "Momma, can I sleep with you for a little bit?"  The answer is always yes, he sleeps in our bed for 10 minutes or so and then I carry him back to his room and tuck him into his own bed.

About once a week Joel comes to me after a few hours of sleep.  "Momma, my legs hurt can you rub them for a minute?"  Again the answer is always yes.  I go to his room and rub his legs and give him the few minutes of special attention that he needs until he falls asleep again.  For which I am almost always rewarded with a "Momma, I love you."

Every night when I am tucking my boys in Jackson's ritual is the same, we talk about 3 things, any 3 things he wants and they are never the same.  We talk about our day and about football.  Sometimes he asks about mutual funds (that is when I call his Daddy in).  He talks about college and growing up.  He talks about friends, new and old.  One thing is always the same when we have talked about our 3 things and I get up to leave he calls to me "No Momma please don't go!"  And always I go back for one last kiss and he is ready for sleep.

Last night as I got up to rub Joel's legs Jason said something that hadn't occurred to me "This could be the last time he asks."  It could be!  Last night could have been the last time the Joel would wake up and just need a little time with Momma.  Tonight when I get up to leave Jackson might just say Goodnight and let me go.  Jensen might never hop into my bed at 4am because I am "warm and snuggly".  They get bigger everyday and I love watching them grow.  So for now I will just have to enjoy it when they need me and when they let me hold them and when they want a few moments of uninterrupted time with me because who knows when I might do it for the last time!